Taglines: Some sagas just won’t die.
“Vampires Suck” is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues — all of which collide at the prom.
Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) moves to Sporks to live with her clueless father, Frank, after her mother starts an affair with Tiger Woods. She is quickly befriended by many students at her new high school, but she is intrigued by the mysterious and aloof Edward Sullen, who perplexes her during their time in biology. Later, Becca is nearly struck by a van in the school parking lot. Edward inexplicably moves from several feet away and stops the vehicle with a student without any harm to himself or Becca.
He later refuses to explain this act to Becca and warns her against befriending him. After much research, but reaching the wrong conclusion that he is a Jonas, Edward corrects her saying he’s a vampire, though he only consumes animal blood. The pair fall in love and Edward introduces Becca to his vampire family. While unwrapping a gift, Becca gets a paper cut, causing Edward’s family to relapse by her blood’s scent and attempt to kill her. Realizing the danger that he and his family pose to Becca, Edward ends their relationship while saving her from the one of the three nomadic vampires who have been killing humans, Jack, knocking his head off with a baseball bat.
Edward’s departure leaves Becca heartbroken for months (and screaming for hours) as she discovers that thrill-seeking activities evoke Edward’s preserved image. She is also comforted by her deepening friendship with Jacob White (Christopher N. Riggi), the cheerful childhood friend who eases her pain over losing Edward. But due to his strange puberty, Becca discovers he has become a Chihuahua as his “pack” arrive to maul another of the nomadic vampires.
Edward has moved to Brazil and is now dating Lady Gaga but through a series of miscommunications, Edward believes Becca has killed herself and attempts to provoke the “Zolturi”—a powerful vampire coven capable of killing him—by standing naked in the sunlight at the site of the ‘St. Salvatore’s day’ school prom. Becca rushes to the prom in a Porsche 911 to save Edward. Upon arrival, she is slowed down during the warring factions of Edward fangirls and Jacob fangirls. She is unable to make it in time as Edward exposes himself, figuratively and literally. However, an eclipse starts and thus concealing Edward’s vampire nature as Becca gets him to safety.
However after a fight between him and the Zolturi leader, Daro (Ken Jeong), Edward is forced to make Becca into a vampire so their lives would be spared. He does so after Becca agrees to marry him if he makes her a vampire and his wife. The movie concludes with Edward taking a blow to the head by the head Jacob fangirl who shouts “Team Jacob, bitch!” Edward survives the blow, and the girl ends up being attacked by the vampirized Becca.
Vampires Suck (2010)
Directed by: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Starring: Jenn Proske, Ken Jeong, Matt Lanter, Anneliese van der Pol, Charlie Weber, Chris Riggi, Diedrich Bader, Crista Flanagan, Michael Hanson, Stephanie Fischer, Zane Holtz, Dave Foley
Screenplay by: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Production Design by: William A. Elliott
Cinematography by: Shawn Maurer
Film Editing by: Peck Prior
Costume Design by: Alix Hester
Set Decoration by: Teresa Visinare
Art Direction by: Kevin Hardison
Music by: Christopher Lennertz
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying.
Distributed by: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: August 18, 2010
